The J Train

Sunday YouTubery

Andy Samberg's latest SNL Digital Short, "Iran So Far". From last night's season premiere.

Amanda posted this a while back, and I looked it up when a thread was going at the SDMB about great monologues. It isn't really a monologue, since it totally depends on James Cromwell's exasperated doctor, but it's a great piece of Pacino's brilliant scenery-chewing take on Roy Cohn.

Speaking of James Cromwell, Cracked.com lists him as the #1 "That Guy" of all time. It's true.

I love the useless arts, and it's hard to imagine a less useful art than dice-stacking. This guy is really good.

More Jason Isbell

Tomorrow night at the Summit City Lounge in Whitesburg! Here are a couple more tracks from Sirens of the Ditch, a disc that I loved from the start that still keeps getting better.

(all links are to YouSendIt and will eventually expire)

mp3 - Jason Isbell - "Dress Blues"
This is a pretty straightforward country number, but it probably shows off Isbell's songwriting prowess better than anything on the album. One review I read said that all Isbell needs is for some yahoo in a big hat to record this track (or "Outfit", for that matter) and he'll be a rich man; since the anti-war position is now pretty much mainstream, I wouldn't be surprised if it happened.

mp3 - Jason Isbell - "Hurricanes and Hand Grenades"
So many songwriters have spent so much time in New Orleans that I can't believe no one has ever used this title. (Hell, I'm pissed that it didn't occur to me.) This is some good old Muscle Shoals soul, simple and satisfying.

Dance Dance Revolution: Hottest Party

My experience with Bemani games has been pretty limited thus far, but I've enjoyed what I've played and I've usually been pretty good at them. That's why I was excited to know that Dance Dance Revolution would be coming to the Wii with its new title DDR: Hottest Party. (I confess I was a little self-conscious buying this on the release day of Halo 3

The motion-sensitive Wii controls add a whole new dimension, bringing your hands to the party, but I'm not crazy about it. You really have to hit those arrows at exactly the right time, and I just can't seem to time the hand motions right. (This is a general complaint of the Wii controls that depend on the motion sensitivity.) Fortunately, you can turn them off and play old-school.

I can't really compare it to previous versions, but I'm having a blast with it so far.

Metal up your ear

This is the hot new look among my clinic staff:

At first, I thought it was a really dull and oddly-placed piercing, but I've seen worse. Someone finally explained that it's a staple instead of a true piercing, and that it isn't for looks--it's for weight loss. The staple supposedly stimulates an appetite-suppressing acupuncture point. It typically costs $35-60 for a naturopath, hairdresser, or other such expert to put it in, though most of the people in the office are simply copying the technique on their own with a standard office staple.

Now, of course, I'm respectful of those who choose to pursue alternative treatments, and while I can't recommend them I certainly...

...oh, I can't even pretend with this one. This is grade-A, extra-virgin, beechwood-aged bullshit. There are actual piles of feces out there excreted by adult male bovines that don't rise to this level of bullshit.

And it's such transparent bullshit. If this is based on ancient knowledge and techniques, why is it only coming to light now? Why are so many people struggling to lose weight, to the point of expensive surgeries and dangerous drugs, when a piece of metal at 500 for fifty cents could have done the trick?

I've spoken up about it, naturally, and of course the entire staff has thanked me for offering my qualified opinion on the subject and immediately removed the staples. Right? Oh God, no. They usually just laugh at me and tell me to "lighten up". I'm a one-man reality-based community.

I've told them not to come crying to me with their staph infections, though I almost hate to joke about it because infections in the ear cartilage can be some nasty shit. What's worse is that I know patients are going to ask the nurses about them and they're going to go home and do likewise, without the betadine that our crew at least had the sense to use.

Friends, when a safe and effective intervention for weight loss comes along, it won't be "alternative" anything, because I and every primary care doctor on the planet will be standing in front of our clinics with megaphones begging people to use it. If sticking metal into your body could cause significant weight loss, I'd look like a cross between Prince Albert and somebody from the Jim Rose Circus. But it can't.

Blood spatter is extra

Sopranos fans: the wonderfully named Porkstone.com is selling bricks from the soon-to-be-torn-down building that was Satriale's Pork Store. $50 for a full collectible brick, and $25 for a desktop-sized version. Gabbagool not included.

Even more disturbing--the site is about to become a luxury condo complex called...The Soprano.

Bert, you think I'm funny, Bert? Funny how, Bert?

It's a little-known fact that De Niro and Pesci were not Scorsese's first choices for the lead roles in Casino.

WARNING: NSFW

Bangers & Cash

Kanye? Fitty? Who cares.  The hip-hop album of 2007 is going to be Spank Rock and Benny Blanco are...Bangers & Cash.  Who knew that 2 Live Crew were crying out for a tribute? 

Much as I felt about Nasty As They Wanna Be when I was in middle school, I pretty much hate myself for loving this.  But I'm a sucker for an old-school beat.

Check out the mp3 below, or Spank Rock's MySpace.  Warning: NSFW, or anywhere else, really.

mp3 - Bangers and Cash - "Loose" (feat. Amanda Blank)

Friday Random Ten, Black Gold Edition

It's Black Gold Festival time!  It's hard to generate a lot of excitement for a local festival that avoids almost anything local in favor of a broad selection of dodgy rides and sketchy-looking food booths.

But it does mean funnel cake.  And, more importantly, my dear and terribly missed Sandy is coming to visit us this weekend!  So even though I'm on call, it's a good weekend.

Prince - "My Computer"
Nothing Prince does is entirely bad.  Some is definitely better than the rest, but it's all pretty good.
Wolf Eyes - "Rationed Rot"
Now here's a band I don't get.  This track is like the kind of noise that makes for a nice 30-second intro to something really awesome, except it goes on for eight minutes and then just stops.
Backyard Tire Fire - "The Daze"
From one of the SXSW torrents.  Pretty catchy acoustic pop.
Modest Mouse - "Satin in a Coffin"
One of those bands I've always wanted to dig deeper into.  I was in such a hole that year that "Float On" was all over the place that I barely even know that one.
My Bloody Valentine - "Come In Alone"
Word is that these folks are reuniting.  That'll be pretty awesome.
Beastie Boys - "Hey Ladies" (Paul Nice remix)
Date women on TV with the help of Chuck Woolery!
Amy Millan - "He Brings Out the Whiskey in Me"
This album (Honey from the Tombs) was pretty good considering that it's a countryish album, and Amy's usual band (Stars) is about as far from country as you get.  Imagine Suzanne Vega making a country album.
Ricardo Villalobos - "Suesse Cheques"
I can't enjoy Villalobos a few minutes at a time--he requires at least an album side's worth of undivided attention, preferably supine and with eyes closed.  If I did X, this is what I'd listen to when I did it.
Mountain Goats - "Your Belgian Things"
I really need to learn some Mountain Goats songs.  They just cry out for acoustic covers.  (Not that I've really learned anything new in, oh, years.)
Bob Dylan - "Ballad of a Thin Man"
Something is happening here, and you don't know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones?

My drum!

I finally got the drum I built at Bonnaroo!  Like damn near everybody else, I didn't quite have time to finish mine, so they put the last few finishing touches on it and sent it to me.

I thought it was going to stain darker, but I like the simplicity of it.  It's an ashiko, which plays differently from the djembe I'm used to.  It rings a lot on the bass note; I may try the trick I used on my djembe, which is to take off the head and put a couple of circles of weather stripping inside the body.  My teacher said it was the best-sounding fiberglass drum he'd ever heard.  I guess the same trick would work on a wooden drum.

I found a couple of places that sell hand drum kits online; I may order and build another one.

Resolved: Modern checkbooks need more deposit slips

I write, at the most, one or two checks a month.  The only time I ever write checks is when I order pizza or when someone comes to work on the house.  But I use exactly two deposit slips every month when I deposit my paychecks.

Unfortunately, my checkbooks each have 25 checks and four deposit slips.  That means I probably won't go through a book of checks in a year, but I'll go through almost seven books' worth of deposit slips.  I've been out for a long time, so I have to get one from the bank and fill all the information in myself.

Of course, if I had direct deposit (which my employer doesn't do, for strange reasons) I wouldn't need any deposit slips.  Maybe they should just sell them separately.  (Hell, for all I know, they do.)