My own hypothetical Sufjan album

Inspired by randominnyc's hypothetical Sufjan Stevens "state" albums, here's my tracklist for Kentucky, The Bluegrass State, Where Education Pays!

(If you're not familiar with Sufjan, go buy Illinois right now. Otherwise, check out the tracklists for Illinois (aka Come On Feel the Illinoise!) and Welcome to Michigan: The Great Lake State, to see why there's fodder for parody here despite the brilliance.)

1. Herbs! Spices! Eleven of Them!
2. Loouhvul
3. The Darkies Used to be Gay, then the Old Folks were Gay, but now the Children will Play
4. Mutton! or, The Buffet at Moonlite is Not Bad, but the Meat at Old Hickory is Much Better
5. The Rev. Elijah Craig, Whose Spirit Still Moves Us
6. Abraham Lincoln, Tom Cruise, and George Clooney Were Born Here, but Moved Away as Soon as Possible
7. West Liberty, East of Liberty; East Berndstadt, East of Nothing
8. Two Minutes in May, or How to Dress Up and Spend a Whole Lot of Money for a Really Short Race, or I Parked Six Miles Away and Paid Fifty Dollars to Get Into the Infield and Never Saw an Actual Horse
9. Adolph Friedrich Rupp
10. Mammoth Cave! The Biggest Cave! The Deepest Cave!
11. Paducah
12. March 1992, Philadelphia (In Which a Young Man Looks Back on a Basketball Game Against Duke, Notes Once Again that Christian Should Have Been Ejected for Stomping on Aminu, and Finds His Anger Renewed Yet Again)
13. Henry Clay Brokers Yet Another Compromise
14. A House Between Dwarf and Rowdy
15. Daniel Boone Was a Man, He Was a Big Man
16. Elizabethtown! You Deserved a Much Better Movie
17. They Call it That Because It Supposedly Looks Sort of Blue in the Morning Sun, but it's Looks Pretty Green to Me

Comments

[E]

Love it! Except Tom Cruise wasn't born in KY. Johnny Depp however, who greatly trumps Tom Cruise in awesomeness, was born in Owensboro.

[The J Train]

OMG, you're right. So much is made of his childhood in Louisville that I figured he was there from the start.

It can be corrected in the second pressing of the album.